The final goodbye...how to ensure you get your choice of Funeral Celebrant..

 The final goodbye or how to ensure you get your choice of Funeral celebrant...

Losing a loved one is dreadful. However long they may have lived...you would give anything for just one more day in their presence...a minute even...gosh even one second...

Sadly, the only certainty in life is that our time here on Earth is finite and will come to an end one day. As the heartbroken ones left behind, it falls to us to arrange their final farewell and suitably celebrate their life, be it long or short.

As close family or trusted friends charged with making arrangements, the choices can be rather overwhelming at the most emotional of times. Decisions need to be made speedily just at a time when all you want to do is curl up in a heartbroken ball and wish the whole sorry experience away.

The traditional option is a church or other faith-based funeral, led by a minister, vicar or other faith leader. For those with strong, personal beliefs, this is the ideal scenario...sincere prayers are offered, the deceased is welcomed into the heavenly afterlife in a solid, traditional manner which is extremely comforting to devoted followers of a faith. But what if you are not religious? What if the deceased was not a member of a particular faith community? What if they didn't even believe in God? What are the realistic alternatives?

Enter the Civil Celebrant. A celebrant is perfectly placed to tell the stories of the life of your loved one, combining these with suitable readings, poems and music that more accurately reflect their personality. Many families choose to include some overtly spiritual elements, be they traditional prayers such as the Lord's Prayer or the Irish Blessing (May the road rise up to meet you...) or, equally often, families select more contemporary readings or poems that they feel encapsulate the values and ethos of their loved one without specifically mentioning God or religion. This is your farewell, personally written,crafted to fit your loved one and created to be the best tribute that it can be.

Many families relax when they meet me, since they realise I will speak in a way that is appropriate to them and their loved ones rather than reading out a formal text with which they have no connection. If desired, I can incorporate rituals, little 'in-jokes', humourous elements, favourite sayings...this is a bespoke, completely personalised ceremony and your one chance to say your goodbye in just the way that you want to.

So how can you arrange to meet me and have me lead your celebration of life? At your initial meeting with the Funeral Director, possibly the hardest point in the whole process, where you feel very overwhelmed by choices and decisions to make, you simply share my name and contact details. Funeral Directors will generally skim over the options about leading your ceremony which is a shame since it is a key decision to have the right type of service for you with exactly the right leader with whom you feel a connection. If your loved one was a member of a faith community, the decision is simple. Your regular faith leader will be contacted and lead your service in their traditional manner. When electing for a celebrant, unfortunately, Funeral Directors often simply select one from their list, giving no more choice than male/female. The most comforting celebrations of life are when you feel you have been empowered to make a proactive choice. Let them know that you would like to work with me and share my details - I will make the arrangements from there with the Funeral Director.

Or do your research and opt for a different Celebrant! I don't want this to sound like an advert for my own services, merely to ensure that you feel happy and comfortable at what is, overall, likely to be the worst and most challenging point of your life. You only have one chance to make the final farewell exactly as you and your loved one would like it to be. Make it the best possible occasion and gain essential comfort from the experience. 

It's a Celebrant Thing...